dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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