remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
