I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
