sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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