ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
