i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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