Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I love black thongs
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
