At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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