she peed on how many people?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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