I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
