Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
