He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
