And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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