its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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