Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
