lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
