My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
