Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Randomize
