worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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