I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
