Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
