Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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