nut hugger
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
