i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
