I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
