apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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