Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
