dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
