You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
