this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
