when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Your penis caused this!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
