Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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