I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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