32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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