thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We talked him into tasing himself.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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