i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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