We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
