Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
