we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
