I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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