i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My bed smells like the plague
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
