wat bout pragnant strippers??
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
