and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Randomize
