Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
