haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
