He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I am available for nakedness
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize