The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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