: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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