Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
