Old men and throwing up are my life now.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize