She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
