Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
