How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
