You can't motorboat a personality
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Randomize
