remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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