Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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