I wannas sexs uuuuu
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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