i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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