she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
he fucked my hip out of place.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
