i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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