i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
