It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
