In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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