I just cut my nipple shaving
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
