Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
