Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
